Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Profiles

I promised personal profiles so here you are:


Paddy 'Bizzle' Best
Likes: Peace and quiet, ale
Dislikes: Jimmy, being tarred with the same brush as the lads
Weaknesses: Can't handle his ale
Personal Quotes: 'Eating's Cheating' - he regretted this later







Daz 'I like to hug and kiss men' Kewley.
Likes: Hugging and kissing men
Dislikes: Not hugging and kissing men.
Weaknesses: Can't stop himself from hugging and kissing men
Personal Quotes: "I like to hug and kiss men."









David 'Didge' Forster.
Likes: Destroying hotel rooms, simulating rape upon the lads when they're trying to sleep and celebrating his mother/father/nan or auntie's birthday every weekend of the year as an excuse to gib off early.
Dislikes: Women with standards
Weaknesses: Screams in his sleep.
Personal Quotes: "Matty, why don't you just die?"





Matthew 'Whelan' Whelan
Likes: Birds, music, mates and alchemy of the purest evil intent
Dislikes: Birds who he can't sleep with, shit music, shit mates and alchemy of the purest good intent.
Weaknesses: Kryptonite, hammers and Kryptonite Hammers.
Personal Quotes: "When i pull a girl the first thing that goes through my head is 'how dirty is this bitch?' then i just start thinking about turning base metals into gold"



Andy 'Nice Face' Knight
Likes: Destruction of a physical, emotional or mental level.
Dislikes: Not being able to cause as much destruction these days now that hes become the most mature member of the group.
Weaknesses: Hair waxing, Jeffrey having control of beads belonging to his mother.
Personal Quotes: "Chunky, where's my mars bar?"



Matty 'Smash' Davies
Likes: Smashing
Dislikes: Things that can't be smashed i.e. the laws of gravity, racial injustice etc.
Weaknesses: Has massive hands but has yet to, without the aid of tools, dig a hole big enough to impress the God of Massive Hands - FingeXerxes
Personal Quote: "WHY? Why can i not smash my own shortcomings as a man?"





Nick 'Horse Balls' Wilkie
Likes: Computers...oh how he likes computers, weighing his balls
Dislikes: Tying his laces in public, the fact that with huge balls come huge responsibility
Weaknesses: EMPs, pigeons
Personal Quote: "Oh man, i broke my computer with my massive balls'






Jimmy 'The Little Shit' Wynn
Likes: Being a little shit, Andy's acceptance, having a voice that can cut glass
Dislikes: Not being Andy Knight, peace and quiet
Weaknesses: Knees
Personal Quote: "BROWN SUGAR!!!!






Jamie 'Paz' Parry
Likes: Football, Red Rooster
Dislikes: Being a drunken mess who gets carried everywhere after drinking too much Red Rooster
Weaknesses: Drinks too much Red Rooster
Personal Quote: "Yeah! I love Red Rooster! Shabba!"







Michelle 'Chelle' Taylor
Likes: Paz, Girly stuff, having magnificent breasts
Dislikes: Nick as she believes he is planning to steal her car
Weaknesses: Paranoia, secret drinking/drug problem which causes her to be angry all the time
Personal Quote: "Hey! Stay away from my car you big-balled bastard or i'll break ya legs"






Chris 'Daddy' Mulhall
Likes: Blowing people's minds, dressing like a dad
Dislikes: Having his mind blown, being called a dad
Weaknesses: None; if you were to kill Chris two more equally powerful Chris' would rise up in his place
Personal Quote: "Is this cardigan too snazzy?"






Ben 'Lightning' White
Likes: Bullying Chim, writing songs about Sean with titles such as 'Sean's gay' and 'Sean smells'
Dislikes: Losing, punctuality
Weaknesses: Moonlight reveals his true form
Personal Quote: "Come try this banana cake, it's like f**king heroin"





Richard 'Bad News' Hughes
Likes: Being bad news
Dislikes: Being good news
Weaknesses: No self control of any kind
Personal Quote: "Someone else is talking to a girl...this must be stopped.'